Broken

Here I sit 35 days post flying over my handle bars into a one handed cartwheel (that I didn't even know I could do) saving my face, my head, and surely my confidence of riding my bike.  18 days post surgery where a metal plate and 5 screws were placed on top of my collar bone to stabilize and ensure a proper union of the two sides. 14 days post starting my new job with Aqua Sphere.   

These last five weeks have been tough, and some difficult decisions have been made, most for the better, some to just be realistic.  First being the decision to have surgery, for me this was a no brainer.  The research I did found me exactly what the doctors told me and I was an eager subject from the moment I was given a choice.  Second being the decision to relinquish $400 and my entry to Ironman St George.  This was very difficult for me, and though I don't show much emotion and tears don't form in my eyes (other than when the national athem is played),  this was a time that I felt a great sadness to give up on something I had worked so hard to prepare for.  Third being one that I won't speak of but most definitely the hardest and will undoubtedly make my life even more difficult in the coming weeks and months.  

The realization that this injury has set me back even further than initially thought it would, has been very difficult. This injury has taken away the glue that holds my day to day life together (or so I have found). I haven't been out of the water this long since I was a senior in high school.  I haven't gone this long without physical activity since I was a child, or this could possibly be the longest I've gone in my 29 years.  I am happy to have an obstacle such as this to over come though.  "Only the strong survive", "pain is weakness leaving the body", "what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger",  and (most recently a new favorite of mine) "Harden the F#@k Up"...  Call it what you will, or use what you need.  Keeping an eye on the prize has kept me going.  I know I'll get back on my bike. I know I'll get back in the water.  I know I'll get back to running.  All just as soon as my body is ready for it.  This is the advice given to me by many, and what I have chosen to follow.  I can't wait to feel the aches and pains after a hard workout. I can't wait to put my appetite to good use.  I can't wait to go faster.  

This week I will ease my way back into the water (one armed), get back on the trainer, and attempt the treadmill or may the elliptical.  I am ready to start the climb to get back to where I was.  On a path to success.  

So many people have been helpful while I have been out.  I can't thank everybody enough for all you have done.  

Soon enough I hope to see you all out on the road.  I hope to see you all in the water.  I hope to see you all at the races.  

Just keep getting better, stronger, faster... 

-Always Awesome..